First 2 Weeks - Survival Kit

I first wrote this when my son was just a month old for a friend of mine who was about to have her own baby. I have added some more info since then. I hope you will find this helpful.

Once the shock an awe of your birth experience has worn off and you are finally holding your little one, preparing to make the journey home, making sure that the car seat is securely locked in place for the tenth time, you might begin to wonder why you did not prepare more for this moment. The moment when the pregnancy and labour are all over and you have to take your precious and seemingly delicate bundle home with you. After all, you’ve spent nine months focused on being pregnant, eating all the right foods, exercising, talking to you baby and preparing, planning and training for labour, but now what. No matter how much time you’ve spent reading books and setting up the nursery nothing can prepare you for your first night at home with your little one. The first night without any nurses or midwives to answer your questions, your first night alone and boy do you feel alone and out of your depth.

So begins the most amazing roller coaster ride of your life. The first two weeks of your baby’s life will be some of the most challenging days of your life. Anything that can make this time easier is essential. With that in mind I have compiled a list of the things our new little family found indispensable. All these items made life a little easier for us as new parents during a time that can be overwhelming. This is by no means an exhaustive list but it holds the things that we found contributed the most toward our general mental health. I hope that this list will add some much needed shock absorbers to your days during this bumpy time. Although for many new parents the adjustment from zero to baby is huge and difficult it is definitely one of the most rewarding times of your life. Remember that it is gone in the blink of an eye so don’t forget to soak in the scenery of your precious little one and enjoy the ride.

Baby Essentials:

• Angel Care Monitor
• Cloth Nappies – great for anything and everything, including penis covering if you have a boy. They tend to wee all over when you least expect it. We’ve even had wet curtains.
• Bassinet on wheels – having our little boy in our room during the night has made getting up at night to feed and change him so much less daunting especially as he was a winter baby.
• Cot lift wedge and side wedges.
• Wall panel heater.
• Humidifier.
• A good nappy rash cream – we used Anitpoel or Multipoel (South African generic which is much cheaper) which we found worked wonders on red bum cheeks.
• Cotton Stretch wrappers – these are much easier to used than receiving blankets which tend to be quite stiff. Swaddling made sure our little one didn’t wake himself up every time his body started as he was falling asleep and helped him sleep more peacefully.
• Nuk number 1 dummies – there is still so much debate about whether dummies are a good idea or not and people usually have a very strong opinion one way or another. We were most worried about the effect it might have on teeth in the future. We spoke to our dentist and she told us that, in her experience, fingers do much more long term damage than dummies. She also said that given my husband and my genetic history our son would probably need braces anyway. Babies definitely need some way to sooth themselves and you need sleep so in the end this seemed to be the best solution.

Mom Essentials:

• The support of dad – without my husband I don’t think I would still be sane. There would have been a lot more crying and frustration had it not been for the fact that we worked as a team on everything baby in the first few weeks.
• Equiscent Sitz Bath salts (Tina Otte’s Child Birth Centre) – if you need stitches after the birth these are essential for the healing process. The Exquiscent salts are so much better than just using salt. They have a combination of essential oils which smell fantastic and leave you feeling relaxed and your skin soft. One tub lasts about a week.
• Coarse Salt and an Energade bottle – these are also essential if you need stitches. Pouring water over the area each time you use the loo aid in speeding up the healing process. Squeezing a jet of water between your legs is so much easier than pouring from a jug (which is what some midwives suggest). Use one table spoon of salt per 500ml of water.

If you are planning to breast feed.

• Lots of patience and determination – breast feeding takes getting used to and you and the baby are both learning so go easy on yourself if it takes times to come right. It’s worth it in the end.
• Cabbage leaves – an old wives tale that actually works. Separating the leaves from the cabbage head in one piece takes practice and is best done in the light of day so keep from prepared leaves in a cooler bag in your bedroom so you can change them during the night if you need to.
• Hot baths – I expressed milk straight into the bath when my breasts got too full and were sore. It’s the easiest way to do it and very relaxing.

• Lansinoh nipple cream (or Purelan) – both are quite expensive but very worth it in the first few days when baby is sucking hard to get the colostrum out.
• Breast pads – I found the disposable ones worked the best and I used Pigeon pads. They don’t stick fantastically well but they do catch all the leaks and are very comfortable and best of all you do not have to wash them.
• Feeding Bras and Shirts – I have lived in my Carriwell sleep shirts at night and my Peek a Moo tops during the day. When you’re starting out not having to worry about how to get your breasts out from under a bunch of clothes is very helpful.
• Boppy Feeding Cushion – this is the feeding cushion which is sort of a c shape and the ends touch at the back. It works like a dream. This is a real arm and wrist saver and the baby feels safer as well. However be careful because its so easy to breast feed this way that both you and your baby can get a little lazy and this can make feeding when you’re out without the cushion difficult.
• A clock in every room you feed in – although there is no real way to tell how much you baby has had to eat knowing how long your baby has been feeding on each breast can help make you feel more confident that your little one has had enough to eat.

Mom and Dad essentials:

• Paternity leave – if possible the dad should take as much leave as he can. My husband was very fortunate that his company gives 5 days of paternity leave (a real rarity in this country), he also took some annual leave and was home for the first two weeks. This made all the difference to my sanity and our bonding as a family.

• Pre-made dinners – if friends and family offer to make you dinners take them up on it. We did not have to cook for two weeks and it meant we actually ate, without these dinners we would not have. Chef Direct make wonderful freezable dinners and they are very affordable and deliver to your home – www.chefdirect.co.za.
• Milk in the Freezer or Box milk – you never seem to be able to get to the shops so if you like coffee (or have to have it to function) then keep a supply of milk in freezer.
• Tumble Dryer – Babies go through far more changes of clothes each day than you would expect and hanging clothes out to dry if very time consuming. Also this way you can just tumble dry and fold without having to iron anything.
• Domestic Help – without our domestic helper, who comes once a week, our house would be an absolute nightmare.
• Dish Washer – without this we would have no clean cutlery or crockery. You will also need this to wash the myriad of tea cups that accumulate from all your visitors.
• Sleep or rest – this is the one everyone tells you and you think they are exaggerating and there are more important things to do when your baby is asleep. However it’s the one piece of advice you really should follow. Sleep or rest when the baby does; during at least one sleep cycle a day. Your sleep life will never be the same again and the first three or four days are the toughest.

Lastly we would like to say enjoy your new little miracle. Becoming a parent is hard but the challenges are nothing compared to the joys, so enjoy every moment.