It is what it is.....a lesson in acceptance

When you're a mom to two small children there are some things you learn to accept. Sometimes it just is what it is, not good, not bad. It's all those little things that used to get you going which you have simply come to accept as part of your daily life. I am a terrible perfectionist and I give myself a really hard, time about most things. I can think up some really insane reasons to guilt trip myself.

So learning to just accept that some things have to slide in order for sanity to prevail is very difficult for me. That's where the saying "it is what it is" comes in. It arrived in my home from a film set I was on once and it stuck. Now whenever there's something we don't particularly like but cannot change and must accept we say "oh well it is what it is".

Oddly enough this strange little saying has actually proved to be quite freeing for me. I have realised that this crazy, out of control, always tired, struggling to cope time of my life is just a season. A season in which I must learn to simply accept some things I don't feel are perfect in order to survive, be a good mommy and a decent human being at the end of each day.

Today I decided to keep a photo log of the things I have come to accept.

Nappy Changing. I used to feel irritated and grossed out by the constant nappy changes. But now whether I like it or not nappies must be changed. There's no use getting upset over it. It simply is what it is.

Crying children. Crying used to really upset me, set me on edge, cause my heart to go into palpitations and make me think I was a terrible mother. However recently I have come to the realisation that children just cry. It's another form of communication for them. Sometimes it still gets me edgy but mostly I understand that it just is what it is.

Mess on the floor. I used to get all antsy about my daughter eating on and off the floor partially because of the dirt and mostly because of the mess it makes. However now I just go with it. If she's happy and occupied for 10 minutes then that's great. I simply will have to clean up later (sometimes later is even just before I go to bed or the next morning). Mess on the floor just is what it is.

Messy areas in my house. There are just some areas in my house that collect mess. I hate the fact that we have n o desk for household admin but honestly it is the one place where I can dump things from other areas where the mess really gets to us (like our breakfast counter). So everyday I walk past our desk pile and sometimes I attack it and get it clean but it only lasts a few days. So for now I am accepting the pile as a necessary evil. One day we'll get to it but it really is not that important. It just is what it is.

Screen time. I have am very hard on myself about TV and iPad time. I really feel little ones should have very limited time on both for a number of cognitive reasons. However the reality is that I need these two 'friends' to help me out when I'm exhausted, cooking dinner or having to go out and leave my son with our lovely domestic worker. So in the end the more I accept this and stop beating myself up the easier my life is. Some days he watches more than other days and it just is what it is.

Unhealthy food and drink. First I want to state that anyone who has given or offered my child these items should not feel bad at all, this is entirely my hang up and nothing to do with your mothering skills at all. I used to be really hardcore about making sure that my son didn't eat anything untoward. I was even so uptight that I always packed a full food bag everywhere we went so he'd only get healthy options. This just totally stressed me out. So now I make my own food choices at home but if we are out and he gets offered Oros, so what, he won't die. It just is what it is.