Be Prepared - what we are doing in our season of waiting.

Our family is emigrating, and we have been waiting on VISAs for what feels like forever. The 12 weeks they originally quoted us have come and gone and we are still here, waiting. My husband has a job in the UK already. Luckily, they are allowing him to work remotely from here until we are able to leave. But each day gets more difficult, the situation of working there but living here more tenuous. This week I have felt particularly stuck, not moving forward but not able to go back to how life was. Living in limbo is a really terrible place. Nothing is certain and the children are taking strain as their lives seem to just float around them with no substance. So, the question is how do you live in limbo? A place when you are neither here nor there. In that place of transition. Like the Israelites in the desert on the way to the place God has called you to but not there yet. Well, its not easy and I certainly don’t have all the answers.

 

I have been reading a book by Craig Cooney called The Tension of Transition. It has been incredibly helpful in this season of our lives. In the piece I read today Craig wrote that God tends to speak in sentences and not paragraphs. God knows that giving us the whole picture of our futures would be total overwhelming and so he gives us our instructions one step at a time. So today I prayed, ‘Lord what is the next step you want us to take.’ And I got one word in response – PREPARE. Suddenly Scar (from the Lion King) is standing on top of a rock singing ‘Be prepared’ inside my mind’s eye. Jokes aside I really am not sure what we are supposed to be doing to PREPARE. We have filled in all the paperwork, submitted all the documents, lined up a moving company, found my mom a place to live, left our schools and our jobs. Really, what else am I supposed to do to be ready God?

 

Well through Craig’s book I have come to understand that God used the Israelites’ time in the desert to bring them from slavery to freedom and to teach them how to be his people. He was preparing then for life in the promised land. With that in mind I prayed and asked God what he thinks we need to do to PREPARE for this next season of our lives. Here are some of the things he has asked me to do, perhaps this list (although certainly not exhaustive) might help you to as you wait in that in-between place.

 

·         Say goodbye. Not just a last wave as you get onto the plane but a proper honouring goodbye. Tell the people and places you are leaving behind how much you love them, honour them for what they have done and meant to you. Thank them. Write letters or sit together as a family and discuss this kind of goodbye together. Recently we sat together and said a proper goodbye to our house before we sold it. We honoured it for protecting us and keeping us warm. We reminisced about our happy memories inside it and we thanked it for being our place of safety. It sounds weird but without this type of goodbye moving on is really hard.

·         Allow space for mourning. Sometimes during a transition like moving countries it can be hard to find space or energy to mourn the things you are loosing. Perhaps like us you are trying your best to be upbeat for your kids who are already feeling down. Mourning is the last thing you want to get into. But its important. If you don’t admit to yourself that you are loosing things and people then those feelings of loss will follow you into your new space and make you sad and depressed there. Working through our feelings can be hard but bottling them up can be even harder.

·         Pray through it. Never stop praying. Even when you feel like you are praying the same thing over and over again. God hears you but He also knows his timing is perfect. Pray for all the small things, the things you need each day to keep you going not just the big things like getting your VISA. We created a prayer wall in our house where we write all our prayers out and we update it from time to time with answers to prayer and any new prayer requests we might have.

·         Work with your kids on their personal struggles. These are things that have really come to light due to the transition you find yourself in. During this time, it has become more apparent just how much my children fall into the trap of worrying. So, we are using this time to talk about worry and how God sees it. We are also reading a book called Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner. We are also working on having a Growth Mindset using a book called Growth Mindset Workbook for kids by Peyton Curly.

·         We have also used this time to become closer as a nuclear family. We will know almost no one when we get to where we are going, and we will need to learn to rely on each other and be able to depend on each other. So, we have been going bowling, playing board games, having movie nights and creating other family traditions that make us a closer knit family.

·         Learn about the place you are going to. Use this time of transition to learn about the country you are going to. We have watched documentaries about the history of the UK. We have learnt about how their money works. We have used google maps to look at the place we will be staying, at where the shops are, where the parks are and where the schools we might attend are. We also ordered a large fold out map so we could see where things are in relation to one another.

·         Take time for yourself. Living in limbo is terribly stressful so don’t forget to practice some self-care. Here are some ideas for mom’s I wrote about a while ago.

·         Keep your marriage strong. Times like this can be very taxing on a marriage. So make sure to take a date night here and there and ban each other from speaking about the move. Talk and plan together, share your feelings and be honest.

·         Last but most certainly not least; read your bible. It is incredible what a comfort the word of God can be in a season like this.