Be Prepared - what we are doing in our season of waiting.

Our family is emigrating, and we have been waiting on VISAs for what feels like forever. The 12 weeks they originally quoted us have come and gone and we are still here, waiting. My husband has a job in the UK already. Luckily, they are allowing him to work remotely from here until we are able to leave. But each day gets more difficult, the situation of working there but living here more tenuous. This week I have felt particularly stuck, not moving forward but not able to go back to how life was. Living in limbo is a really terrible place. Nothing is certain and the children are taking strain as their lives seem to just float around them with no substance. So, the question is how do you live in limbo? A place when you are neither here nor there. In that place of transition. Like the Israelites in the desert on the way to the place God has called you to but not there yet. Well, its not easy and I certainly don’t have all the answers.

 

I have been reading a book by Craig Cooney called The Tension of Transition. It has been incredibly helpful in this season of our lives. In the piece I read today Craig wrote that God tends to speak in sentences and not paragraphs. God knows that giving us the whole picture of our futures would be total overwhelming and so he gives us our instructions one step at a time. So today I prayed, ‘Lord what is the next step you want us to take.’ And I got one word in response – PREPARE. Suddenly Scar (from the Lion King) is standing on top of a rock singing ‘Be prepared’ inside my mind’s eye. Jokes aside I really am not sure what we are supposed to be doing to PREPARE. We have filled in all the paperwork, submitted all the documents, lined up a moving company, found my mom a place to live, left our schools and our jobs. Really, what else am I supposed to do to be ready God?

 

Well through Craig’s book I have come to understand that God used the Israelites’ time in the desert to bring them from slavery to freedom and to teach them how to be his people. He was preparing then for life in the promised land. With that in mind I prayed and asked God what he thinks we need to do to PREPARE for this next season of our lives. Here are some of the things he has asked me to do, perhaps this list (although certainly not exhaustive) might help you to as you wait in that in-between place.

 

·         Say goodbye. Not just a last wave as you get onto the plane but a proper honouring goodbye. Tell the people and places you are leaving behind how much you love them, honour them for what they have done and meant to you. Thank them. Write letters or sit together as a family and discuss this kind of goodbye together. Recently we sat together and said a proper goodbye to our house before we sold it. We honoured it for protecting us and keeping us warm. We reminisced about our happy memories inside it and we thanked it for being our place of safety. It sounds weird but without this type of goodbye moving on is really hard.

·         Allow space for mourning. Sometimes during a transition like moving countries it can be hard to find space or energy to mourn the things you are loosing. Perhaps like us you are trying your best to be upbeat for your kids who are already feeling down. Mourning is the last thing you want to get into. But its important. If you don’t admit to yourself that you are loosing things and people then those feelings of loss will follow you into your new space and make you sad and depressed there. Working through our feelings can be hard but bottling them up can be even harder.

·         Pray through it. Never stop praying. Even when you feel like you are praying the same thing over and over again. God hears you but He also knows his timing is perfect. Pray for all the small things, the things you need each day to keep you going not just the big things like getting your VISA. We created a prayer wall in our house where we write all our prayers out and we update it from time to time with answers to prayer and any new prayer requests we might have.

·         Work with your kids on their personal struggles. These are things that have really come to light due to the transition you find yourself in. During this time, it has become more apparent just how much my children fall into the trap of worrying. So, we are using this time to talk about worry and how God sees it. We are also reading a book called Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner. We are also working on having a Growth Mindset using a book called Growth Mindset Workbook for kids by Peyton Curly.

·         We have also used this time to become closer as a nuclear family. We will know almost no one when we get to where we are going, and we will need to learn to rely on each other and be able to depend on each other. So, we have been going bowling, playing board games, having movie nights and creating other family traditions that make us a closer knit family.

·         Learn about the place you are going to. Use this time of transition to learn about the country you are going to. We have watched documentaries about the history of the UK. We have learnt about how their money works. We have used google maps to look at the place we will be staying, at where the shops are, where the parks are and where the schools we might attend are. We also ordered a large fold out map so we could see where things are in relation to one another.

·         Take time for yourself. Living in limbo is terribly stressful so don’t forget to practice some self-care. Here are some ideas for mom’s I wrote about a while ago.

·         Keep your marriage strong. Times like this can be very taxing on a marriage. So make sure to take a date night here and there and ban each other from speaking about the move. Talk and plan together, share your feelings and be honest.

·         Last but most certainly not least; read your bible. It is incredible what a comfort the word of God can be in a season like this.  

I Am Still Here - a teacher's poem

On Tuesday our term will begin. A totally unprecedented term. How do you teach preschoolers online? How do you take Reggio teaching online? On the eve of this new experience I am apprehensive and excited. With that energy I have written this poem to my class, to their parents, to the world. I am still here!

I Am Still Here

I miss my children
I miss my class
So much is uncertain
And there is much to fear
But I am still here
Online now
Through videos and zoom
I will remind them of my love
Through google classroom
I will challenge their minds
I will partner with parents
I am still here
Together we will figure this out
How to bring learning home
My kids will be the guinea pigs
When my lessons get to you
They will be well loved
I am still here
I am afraid of this new thing
I am uncertain what time will bring
But I know that I will try my best
To do the cooking and the cleaning
To do the homeschooling and the teaching
To continue my vocation
I am still here

Zoom Tips for Preschool Teachers

Today's post is by a guest writer, Lindi Bell founder and head of Small World School a Reggio inspired preschool in South Africa. Lindi has over 25 years experience teaching children and is a mother of three. She has conducted and attended courses on Multiple Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence, Art Therapy, Play Therapy, Imago relationship Theory, the Reggio Approach and many more. She holds a very strong image of children, as she has seen what they can do, given a ‘Yes’ environment that supports the way that children learn.

Here I am Zooming from my living room. I am playing a card game with my class during our playdate. 

As a school we are also facing moving our teaching online for the next little while. As part of preparing for this we have been having Zoom playdates with our classes. After her classes playdate Lindi wrote the following about how to do Zoom with preschoolers. The children in her class are mostly 4 years old. 

1) COME IN QUIETLY: it works to have everyone come in on Mute (that’s a setting you select when setting up the Zoom meeting before hand). This creates a listening space.

2) ROLE OF THE TEACHER: Hold the space as Host as you would in your rings. In other words, you offer the floor as to who will speak next (rather than all at the same time, juggling for bandwidth). Make sure everyone has a chance to speak.

3) HOLDING SPACE FOR THE CHILD IN THE DIGITAL WORLD: Treat the digital as a material. In other words, involve the children in coming to grips with Zoom’s potentials eg ask child themselves to mute/unmute mic.. show them where it is. This is just like teaching children to raise their hand before speaking or keep quiet and listen while others are telling a story. Children need time to work with the medium of Zoom. You can also start to teach children how to raise a hand (while on mute) to indicate they want to say something. You can literally raise your hand or there is a tricky-to-get-to ‘Raise Hand’ function on Zoom. We are also teaching digital citizenship here, active listening and respectful reciprocal dialogue.

4) PLAN FOR POSSIBILITIES: Don’t waste parents valuable time and data with dead spots or waiting for ‘things to come up’.. eg “what shall we sing today”? As with your normal class rings, have something to connect around, go in with a plan, a focus, a provocation, which you have made visible to children/families beforehand. I’m the beginning, I would keep these provocations broad but relevant to what is going on what with Lockdown and the many changes that the Covid-19 pandemic has brought. For example: ‘Come and share what you have been busy with this week’; or
‘Bring your favourite toy that you have been playing with’ or
‘What do you miss about school?’
It works to be more teacher directed on Zoom Rings than you would in your play sessions/Discovery Time with the children. Try to keep rings 15-25 mins to save families’ data.

5) SINGING TOGETHER: rather ask all the children to Mute their Mics and “sing to the class in the cloud'. Sadly, singing altogether with mics on brings interference and lag. Teacher/Host can keep Mic on and sing along. Songs with lots of Actions work (so everyone sees everyone doing them). Also call-and-response songs eg “Sawubona (Sawubona)”. Have these songs planned beforehand.

6) MAKING EVERYONE VISIBLE: Suggest to parents beforehand to set their Zoom setting to Gallery view so children can all see everyone who has joined. Zoom on Laptops can view more than 9 faces on one screen. Phones/iPads less than 9.

7) DOCUMENTATION: While you are Zooming with your peeps, make notes (ie document as you would normally) what they have shared/things of interest that you might want to build upon or provoke further. Documentation is also Listening Made Visible. This precious Zoom time together helps you as a teacher to actively build upon their current interests that you might not be privy to while in lockdown so that you can continue to co-create inquiry-based curriculum. You can also choose to Record the Session as Host when setting up the meeting... just like video recording a Morning Ring. You will need to inform the parents before they come to the Zoom meeting that you will be recording it. This will help you to reflect on how the children have engaged with the provocations, and build on the current interests.

8. PROJETTAZIONE: If you are in the habit of bringing the previous week/day’s documentation of the children’s thinking/artwork/conversation to class rings to share with your class and plan your next days provocation, you can also work out how to use the ‘Share Screen’ option in Zoom which allows you to share back a photo/video of what you/their peers have been creating (an artwork/or garden/dance move) with the whole class. You can also share that week’s provocations that you have set (we are using Google Classroom for this) with the class as you talk them through it by pulling up the Google Classroom screen.

10) BUILDING CONNECTION: Use this platform of Zoom as a way to expand our relationships and as an extension of the best of our humanity. It is fundamentally human to want to connect, offer support, care for one another, learn together through Play. No, the digital world can never replace the power of real life intra-action. But it does offer a substitute for the interim. Use Zoom to check in with the children and their parents. Ask “How are you doing there?” Listen to the answer. Offer support, a laugh, a smile, a joke, and active hope. Children really love to see their friends and, if you have built a warm relationship foundation, they will also be missing their teacher. They are eager to connect.

11) SMALLER GROUPS: For smaller groups/one-to-one interaction, offer your class children the opportunity to video call you anytime during school hours, if they want to ask something, or share what they have made. You can call them too, at least twice a week to start. Work with families to find the right time to work with their children in smaller groups. I’m finding that parents are enjoying connecting and sharing and even documenting on our existing WhatsApp class groups, something to bear in mind as we search to find the right platform for documentation (our other options include: Storypark, Google Classroom Stream, Small World Families FB page etc)

12) ASK FOR FEEDBACK: After each Zoom session, send a WhatsApp message to your class group asking for any suggestions to improve it for next time. We are all learning on the job here. For example, one parent reminded us that her child’s sibling had a Zoom play date scheduled for the same time.. oops! Another parents told us of zoom hackers and that we should always set up a meeting that requires a password.

13) THIRD TEACHER: Pay attention to your background and the materials you have at hand... consider creating a mini atelier so that you can just reach out and grab something (a book/TP roll/pen and paper) as an idea come up. Also think about your face’s angle to the camera (no-one wants to see up your nose.. or, maybe they DO!). Make sure you as Host are well-lit (!) and not too far away from the camera and microphone. If you as teacher have kids of your own, and they want to come and sit on your lap, that’s fine! Teachers’ homes have always been a great source of inquiry for children! 

Art Journaling

I don't know about you but I have been keeping myself so busy and trying so hard to be ok about Corona for my kids that I have not been dealing with my feelings about it at all. I have been cleaning, cooking, researching (getting ready to teach preschool online), looking after kids and just generally sticking my head in the sand.  Then last week a friend of mine posted a video on art journaling and I was inspired by it. So I tried it and I tried it with my kids. It gave us something fun to do together and I thought that that was enough.

Then I went shopping out in the big bad Corona world and I came home feeling totally overwhelmed. I barked at my kids and my husband and then switched on the TV to house shows to calm down. But it didn't work the feelings were still there. Then I remembered the art journal that I have started that afternoon. So I grabbed it and some pastels and just started drawing. When I felt that was done I still had feelings left over so I wrote a poem.

This process really helped me get my feelings out and calm down. I have noticed how the art journal is helping me to release my feelings that I had been storing up behind a dam wall in my mind and heart. That dam wall would definitely have broken at some point if I hadn't found the art journaling.

I'm sure like me lots of you moms (and dads) are holding onto your feelings so that your kids won't be more scared, worried and frightened that they are already. So why not try art journaling as an outlet or infact a journal of any kind. Not only will it release those pent up feelings but it will be a great part of your remembering of this time.

You don't need a lot of things to begin this just a blank book and some things to draw with but here is what I am using:

Acrylic paints (left over from art class)
Fine liners
Old magazines
Scissors
Modge podge (not the real thing its actullay just watered down wood glue and it works like a charm)
A hair dryer (because who can wait for paint to dry)

Here are a few examples from my journal for inspiration.

A Time to Remember Interview Answers

So I took my children through the interview and they were intrigued as to why we were doing it and what I was going to do with their answers. I told them I would print their answers and put them in our Corona Time capsule or their memory boxes. Once they realized their answers were important to me they were more than happy to answer the 10 questions. My youngest found one or two of the questions difficult but gave answers after I explained and expanded the questions.

In case you didn't see yesterdays post here are the questions again.

Here are my children's answers to the above questions. Each child's answers told me so much about their personalities. It also gave me some idea of how they are feeling, how I can support them and what they are struggling with the most.

Curious George's Answers (9)

      1.  I think the virus is basically a very bad flu which is extremely contagious and fatal to some people.
2.       Nervous, upset, bored
3.       We had a movie marathon, more time by myself, sleep in later, play more, more TV
4.       One of my best friends moved overseas earlier than expected, missing school, no playdates, more time in the house, less fun than normal
5.       Protect yourself and wash your hands and don’t worry.
6.       Build a puzzle
7.       Friends, playdates, being outside of the house.
8.       That this time never existed
9.       Play dates and cricket
10.   Encourage them, say kind words 

Jelly Bean's Answers (7)

      1. Corona is a virus that is contagious, lots of people can get it, some people die and if you breathe on someone you can get it and it started in China, then it went to japan and then other countries.
2.       Scared, worried, bored
3.       No school work, more playing, mommy is home, we don’t have to go to the shops, we don’t have to get up early.
4.       No going to restaurants, no going out, no play dates, no going out your house, no going shopping for toys
5.       Boring. It was boring because we had to do chores and stay in our bedrooms.
6.       Play board games, have a picnic in our garden, camp in the lounge
7.       Seeing friends, going to Spur and Panarotties and going to Food Lovers Market and going to PicknPay where the ice cream is.
8.       That everybody would have a picnic today together.
9.       Play dates
10.   Cleaning the house, being quiet, obeying the rules, not getting hurt so we don’t have to go to the hospital and praying for the sick, homeless and people who have Corona

      Mr E's Answers (5)

1.       It’s about um people who get sick and people who die.

2.       Happy and sad

3.       People haven’t died, colouring, swimming and playing outside, watching TV, jumping on the trampoline

4.       Can’t play with our friends, no school

5.       That I have been colouring and tracing.

6.       Play a board game with five people. If we have a board game with five people.

7.       Um I miss school

8.       Having tea with anyone

9.       Going to the shops

10.   Not be naughty

A Time to Remember Interview for Kids

It has been a very long time since I posted anything on this blog. I now have three kids and am a preschool teacher and time just slips through my fingers everyday and I wonder where it went but can't get it back. However the current global pandemic has given me pause and made me want to keep a record of this unprecedented time in our history. So I have decided to post in my blog again. Who knows how much I will manage to do but at least when I look back I will be able to see some of what went down in my life and the life of the Peas Pod.

People have been talking on Facebook and other social channels about keeping some sort of memoir with their children to document this time when history is being made. So with that in mind I have created an interview to do with my kiddos for them to look back on in the future. Here are the questions I have put together and will ask my children to answer for me tomorrow. I can't wait to hear their answers.

Take care of yourself

Its tough being a mom. 

One of the things I discovered when I became a mother is that motherhood is a full time job. A 24/7 365 job, with no leave, no overtime pay or bonuses and no sick days. If anyone in the formal sector had to put up with these sorts of working conditions they’d probably be on strike right now. So just exactly how do you survive this endless job without breaking down. Truth is you don't. Unless you learn to care for yourself. To carve out time for yourself to renew your energy and your soul. Here are some things that I have found helped as a mom. Take care of yourself. After all if you collapse who will make dinner. 😄

1. Join a hobby class or club. If you are like me just having a hobby is not enough motivation to actually find time to do it on your own so join a class or a club. You'll make friends and be held accountable for going.

2. Go to bed early. If it doesn't have to be done leave it till the morning and get to bed early. A rested mom is a much more patient and energetic mom.

3. Put your kids to bed early. Get you kids into bed early. Even if they don't go to sleep straight away allow them reading time or quiet games. You need time in the evenings with your spouse. Don't let late bedtime shenanigans stop you from getting one down time. My kids will tell you that mommy goes off duty at 7:30pm.

4. Go on retreat. In my home my family knows that mommy goes on 'retreat' twice a year. This is a time for me to get away on my own. I usually got to somewhere in nature where I don't have to cook, clean or organize anyone. I sleep in, pray, read, watch movies, go for walks and sometimes a massage of I am lucky. It's time for me and God and rest. There are times when I have gone away to weeping and gnashing of teeth. My husband and kid have been angry and felt unloved but God constantly reminds me that if I want to be a good mother I have to look after myself to. It's not easy but it's worth it.

5. Sleep in. Make a deal with your spouse so that each of you gets a turn to sleep in one day a weekend. The other person takes the kids in the morning.

6. The vent message. My best friend and I started this little self-help item. When one of us is feeling truly horrid or angry we send the other a WhatsApp which starts with the word vent. Then we proceed to lay out all our feelings. The agreement is that these messages do not need a response and all that they contain is confidential and to be read with an open heart and a goldfish memory. These have been great for those days when you just need to let your feelings out and know someone has heard you.

7. Exercise. Yuck this is my least favourite self-care topic but it works. I hate to exercise but I have tried to find something that works for me and to give it priority if time and budget. All that nonsense about increased endorphins is actually true. Also the fitter you are the more energy you will have for the task of mothering.

8. Outsource dinner especially during the tough times. It is not a failure to admit that you need help preparing food for your family. A friend of mine has taught her domestic helper to cook certain meals. She then prepares the meal once or twice a week. I have another friend whose helper preps everything during the day and then she simply cooks it at dinner time. Another friend just does the Woolies thing. In my house we have a menu. It's the same every week for now. Boring but doable as I hate to cook. My mom helps me prepare and/or cook dinner. Suicide hour is not a myth and it's my most stressful time of day. It has taken me 6 years to admit I need help in this part of my mothering.

9. Give up things and simplify your life. I always thought this meant that I had to empty out my life to make time for everything but recently I have learnt this is not what it means at all. When you empty your life of all your own activities and the things that give you joy you burn out. Believe me I know. Give up bath time every night or always having home cooked meals. Give up the dinner time fights and streamline bath and bedtime. Give up your preconceptions of what your family should be doing. Ease up on yourself. Your kids won't die if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches or don't wash behind their ears every night. I've given up fighting my daughter do wash at bath time, if all she does is soak that will have to do. I pick my battles very carefully now days because living in a house where I am constantly shouting is no fun at all.

10.Join a bible study. Go with your hubby or without him just go. If he is your only babysitter then so be it. Your soul needs to be fed by God. You need to surround yourself with women who can listen to you, care for you, pray for you and give you Godly advice. Sometimes it's helpful to be part of a group with older women who have been through the journey of motherhood and can give you advice.

11. Pray. In the shower, while patting children to sleep in the middle of the night, while you are driving, while you are shopping. Talk to God, lean on him and take the strength that only he can give.